A month or so after the move...

It feels odd to write something without commenting on Sandy Hook, but I can't go there yet. So, perhaps a moment of silence?

***

I keep thinking we moved a month ago.  It depends on how you count it.  Jim moved to PA 8 months ago.  Kade and I moved 5 months ago.  After a few weeks, we took a month back in Florida... and moved to a different PA place about 3 months ago.  Then my mom sold her house, a bit more quickly than any of us thought (!), and so Kaden and I were back in Florida.  That last visit was like a stealth work trip instead of a proper visit.  We came back, and mom moved in with us, about 2-3 weeks ago.   So maybe I just moved, and should cut myself some slack for not being unpacked - let alone decorated for Christmas.  OR, maybe I've dragged out this moving thing over too many months, and what's wrong with me for goodness sake?

People keep asking how it's going.  Mostly I talk about how cold I am.  Because it's true.  It's also easier to explain than the emotional roller coaster.  Some days, life is a grand adventure and aren't I having fun starting over?   Other days, meh.   I don't think it's a coincidence that the first type of days occur over 50 degrees.

Today I was at a grocery store, and I thought I saw someone I knew.  From church.  In Florida.  This happens quite a bit, the not-quite-deja-vue.  Today I realized that it felt like I was a time traveller, like Clare Fraser in the Outlander series.  Things are (almost) familiar.  I remember what ____ is like, about 30 seconds after it happens (like getting a charley horse because my leg muscles tense when they're cold).  And as I drove home, looking at the mountains and foggy farmland, I thought:  gosh, this feels like Scotland.  So maybe if I look at this stage as a type of Scottish missionary thing, it'll be easier to accept the homesickness, and cold, and confusion about what exactly I'm doing here.

I mean, I know why we're here:  Jim got a great job and we wanted some time near his family.  Both of those are going great.  But what is my place is all this?  What am I being called to?  I miss work a bit, but that feeling has faded quite a lot.  I get the sense that I'm NOT supposed to "do" anything just yet... instead make space for the family... and clear my head and heart.  If you know me at all, you know how incredibly difficult this is for me.

But it's amazing the way things are coming together.   For Christmas, a relative-in-law suggested the cousins each pick a name, so we only needed to exchange one gift instead of twenty (the parents of 7 have a few more to buy!).  My side of the family is fairly small, and we've never gone overboard.  And since we don't know many people, there's not a lot of the "acquaintance" gift giving.  We're not working at the church, so there's not the advent craziness.  (We actually went to a church show- showed up a few minutes late, and left when it was over- amazing).  All this means that there's been space in our calendar... not that we're ready for Christmas yet :)

Then there's the living space.  An apartment complex seemed the best way to ease into learning the area.  Now that we're all here, it means we have the remnants of a 2 bedroom condo and a 3 bedroom house in a 3 bedroom apartment.  All of us thought we simplified... but now we're really learning what that means.  And learning what "stuff" we own that we really love.  What's worth the space of keeping.  It's a bit forced at times, and temporary as we'd like to move to a house next year.   But what a valuable lesson for now!

So things are happening, and whilst I may not be overly happy in any given moment, I do have an underlying sense of peace... and moments of joy. We're definitely still in transition, but I'm learning to be okay with that. To accept that I'll miss the sun and the swamp.  To let go of artificial deadlines, or standards other people have set. I'm learning - slowly - to give myself the space to hear God's whisper and to embrace all things new... or different... or even cold.

*** I went to add photos, and realized that I haven't taken any since a few weeks ago in Florida.  If that's not a clear sign of my hibernation, I don't know what is!  I'll have to work on that.

Dear Santa

I should let you know that the letter writing to Santa took a lot of coaxing this year.  Not to sit down to write it, but to put it in a semi-letter, polite form.  The 4 year old was more interested in listing the 100s of toys he wanted.  The first draft was "Dear elves, please tell Santa to bring me lots and lots and lots of toys."  So, lots of coaching was involved.  That being said... enjoy!

"Dear Santa and elves,

 I hope you're not working too hard.  We moved to Pennsylvania, and it's really cold so I hafta wear a jacket.   Dear Santa, I hope you give me M&Ms like St. Nick did.  Ho Ho Ho!  Dear Santa, I am a nice kid.  Please give me a game system and a lot of games, like Brave.  And please give me an iPod and a shooter gun and ninja turtles.  And a motorcycle that I can ride on.  And the big hockey game and a baking system for girls, because I love baking.  And other games, like Monopoly.

We are building a Christmas Tree, and stockings.  I am going to make presents and give them to my family, like Daddy.  I am going to share my presents, with my friends.   Goodbye Santa, I hope to see you soon!  That's it, the end of the story and the show.   Love, Kaden.

PS - directions to my new house:  go that way, then that way, and that way, then turn that way, go right and then go left, and then go straight and stop in the middle."

ps- we are in PA, finally, but I have some great shots from our Florida visit last week :)

Artsy Fartsy Fall

There's no getting around the season anymore- it's really Fall.  

Even when the sky is a pretty blue...

But a certain round of birthdays comes up

And if I can go outside with just one jacket on, 

it's time for a walk.

We took these shots wandering around my in-laws property.

 I was amazed at how different the trees were from our area (45 minutes away).

Inside the forest/woods, it seemed a lot less vibrant.

More damp and misty, though.

I was happy to get out before it got too dark...

There's a lot of stories about being in the woods at night.

None are encouraging.  I remembered why.

I know a lot of people love fall.  This year, we're still transitioning to life in PA.  

But I'm pretty sure I love visiting Fall.

Because living in Fall?

This Floridian is already cold!  

Welcoming a Brand New Niece!

Kaden's been having fun with his cousins- especially the ones within a year of his age.  

He's not quite sure why they wouldn't let him play soccer, though.

The really big news is our newest niece!  Here she is, with a proud dad and a fascinated cousin!

At one point, the nurse had baby E in the bassinet to warm her up... and all her siblings, plus Kaden and her dad, crowded around just to stare at her.

Really, wouldn't you?

Exploring

Well... we're here.  Though I'm not always sure where 'here' is.  This weekend, our popular saying is  "What kind of country did you move us to, Dad?"  Kaden modified one of my comments, and since JimDad is a good sport, it stuck :)

The new casa deserves its own post, with photos.  That'll come later.  As you can tell, we've got internet hooked up now.  And I bought a new coffeepot today, so life is gradually becoming civilized.  Well, as much as it can while living out of boxes.

Church shopping officially started today.  Halfway through Mass, Kaden looked around and then whispered in my ear:  Mama, we don't know ANYONE in here.  It's true, we went from being in charge of a lot of things to being strangers...afterward, we were talking about what we liked about the church, and Kaden piped up:  "I liked it.  I like almost everything."   Which is true.

Kaden's also been over the moon about having his Dad around again.  The first night, in less than 10 minutes, he said:  Daddy, can you give me a bath? Daddy, can you put on my pjs?  Daddy, can you read me a story? Daddy, well, can you just do everything with me from now on?

In the Midst

So, guess what we did yesterday?

 Our move "plan", such as it is, consists of having a company dropping off a trailer in our driveway... loading our stuff into as little space as possible... having them drive it to PA, where it's now Jim's problem.  And Kaden and I will take a few days here, visit some friends, hop on the autotrain, and arrive in PA a day or two after the stuff has been unloaded into the new house (we're renting, have I mentioned that yet?).

We didn't plan on being in a hurricane's "Cone of Anxiety."  Or on Kaden getting sick the night before the truck came (not that you can tell from the photos).  Or on having so much freaking stuff!  I'm a bit dismayed- the wee lad himself has at least 8 boxes of toys (which doesn't include the basketball hoop, the car, the large trucks, OR any toy in Pennsylvania).  I know I gave away boxes upon boxes of books and stuff.  And yet... there's still so much.  And while there's nothing wrong with owning stuff- it's not how I pictured my life.

But we did have an awesome family come over and help, both with Kaden wrangling and with truck loading, and another unexpected friend to boot.  There is NO way I could possibly have done this without them, and we've saved quite a bit, so now I'm also taking suggestions for thank you gifts! What do you think?  What's a good thank you for 3-5 hours of sweat and general sanity-keeping?

More conversations

Kaden:  Will my voice sound the same later?
Kristi:  puzzled  Sure.  pause.  When?
Kaden:  When I'm older.
Kristi:  Oh. Yes, I guess.  Why would your voice sound different?
Kaden:  That's an interesting question.  pause.  I don't want to talk about it right now.
Kristi:  ???

sand or snow?

 ***

Kaden:  Mom, why are we leaving before those people?
Kristi:  Because I don't work here anymore, but someone just came in to register, so they have to stay.
Kaden:  Why don't you work here anymore? I liked it.
Kristi:  Because we're moving to Pennsylvania.
Kaden:  What do you work at now?
Kristi:  I don't really have a job, now.  I just get to stay at home with you.
Kaden:  Well, you could get a job and I could go to school.
Kristi:  sigh.

Burrowing Owls are common around here. Didja read/see HOOT?

***

In my old office, now inhabited by the replacement ;)  I had a "kid" section that she kept.
Kaden:  Mom, these are my toys.
Kristi:  No, they were toys I got for the church office and we left them here for other kids.
Kaden:  upset  No, they were MY toys and I shared, but now we need to take them to Pennsylvania.
Replacement:  Sure, honey, you can take them.
Kaden:  See, mom!
Kristi:  ???  sigh.

not ours- he was in the street. Kaden was upset I didn't "rescue" him...

***

We are taking SO. MANY. TOYS. to Pennsylvania- it's so frustrating. I was able to pare down our stuff (though JimDad may later question some of that!) but Kaden is hanging on to *everything*.  I know it's because of this move transition, but I am not a packrat and it's driving me crazy!  Thanks for listening.

Conversations

First Library Card, 2012

Nana:  Kaden, clean your room.
Kaden:  Let's compromise, Nana.
Nana:  Kristi, did you hear that?  He has such a great vocabulary!
Kristi (doubting her son's natural genius):  Kaden, what does 'compromise' mean?
Kaden:  It's when you talk a little, and then I talk a little.
Nana:  See! He does know!
Kristi:  And what happens after we're done talking, Kaden?
Kaden:  You do what I want.
***

Science Museum Visit, April 2012

Kaden:  How come I remember lots of things that no one else does?
Kristi:  (thinks- because you have no other things to focus on)  says:  I guess you have a good memory.
Kaden:  I think it's because I'm a lot smarter than you.
Kristi:  That can't be, you see, because you're my son.  You came from me, so where do you think you got your brains from?
Kaden:  Daddy.  Only he would never tell you that.

Sunflowers at their tallest, Spring 2012

***
 After cleaning out the condo and giving away a bunch of random furniture...
Kaden:  why did you give my bed away?
Kristi:  Your bed is right here, in your room.
Kaden:  Do my cousins have beds?
Kristi:  Yes.  (realizing he's worried about where he sleeps in Pennsylvania)  Kaden, we're moving to Pennsylvania.
Kaden:  puzzled look.  I know that.
Kristi:  Well, moving means that we pack up all our stuff and we send it to Pennsylvania, and we get a new house and unpack everything and live there- you, me and Daddy- we live together as a family again, with all our stuff.
Kaden:  I didn't know THAT!

Pirate Sock Puppet, a birthday gift and great airplane entertainment, July 2012.

***
Kristi:  Hey, Kaden, let's plan a "farewell Florida tour" - we'll go to all the places we're going to miss, and hang out a bit, say goodbye, maybe take some pictures.  Sound good?
Kaden:   like where?
Kristi:  Like the beach, or the fire truck playground, or the park near the river... where would you like to go?
Kaden:  Mmm, I get it.  I think I'm going to miss Chuck E Cheese.

Chuck E Cheese.  No, we never mentioned there's another one in Pennsylvania.
How long do you think it'll take him to find out?

7 (not so) Quick Takes

I was catching up on a few other blogs and thought this post would be a good way for us to catch up, too :) With this being the second post in the last three months, I think it's fairly evident that we're winding up the days at here Florida Ink.  I have a few more posts in mind, on the transition and surrounding Kaden, and then I'll officially switch.   As of this week, I'm officially an unemployed, freelancing Mom, and I'm already spending more time than I'd like working on computer projects (less time with Boy Wonder), so... let's not drag out the goodbyes, eh?

1) Vacation Bible School - this was my sixth at the church, but the first one where I haven't been in charge.  What a struggle!  So, it was very odd to be "consulting" and not "leading" MY volunteers :)  But the kids seemed to have a great time in any case :)  We went with the SKY theme, and then one of our volunteers works at the "little" county airport... and arranged an optional field trip for our group.  Captain Kaden approved.

2) You may remember earlier this year, when Jim and I lived it up by faking a Disney trip with Kaden. Well, thanks to a particularly generous cousin, we did the real thing last week.  Kaden LOVED it.  The characters, the rides, the random nice-ness of people.  Back in January, he shied away from any large costumed folk- this time he not only asked for autographs (and said thank you, bless him) but he was hugging them and leading parades and just generally soaking it all up happily!

We were super fortunate not to have to wait for any lines.  First, there was a character breakfast with Pooh and friends.  Then the park was fairly empty because of TS Debbie.  I'll take a soggy, less waiting day anytime!  And when we went to Hollywood Studios Animation Station, Minnie, Daisy and Donald were all there with NO lines.. and a ten minute wait brought us to Mickey.  Nothing like the at-least-one-mile-long-line to see Merida (kids) and the guy in the kilt (moms).

3)  Our condo finally sold.  To put this as succinctly as possible:  we now have firsthand experience as to how badly the banking system is broken.  It was a "short sale", which is a laughable name because there was nothing short about it.  We had a buyer in August, which the bank muffed and we lost.  We then had one (or two?) other buyers who dropped out somewhere in the process.  Finally, we had a buyer in early FEBRUARY... and, due to following the bank's procedures (the only option to actually sell), closed in mid June.  The bank got between $15-20 grand LESS than if they had accepted the offer back in August. We got a credit score hit and A LOT of additional frustration.

To give you an idea of how screwed up this was, during one week we had received:  a call from a collector about the overdue mortgage, an email from our 'negotiator' requesting forms that we had already signed and turned in, a mailed letter offering us a mortgage reduction, and a sticker with very good glue on our front window declaring the property inspected and VACANT (which was placed there to protect the bank's interest!  Huh?  By notifying potential thieves they have a good target?).

Despite all that, and the necessity of moving, I will miss our first home.  It was cozy, and brightly lit, and we had planted a few things - like this flower in memory of one of our miscarried babes.

4) I have three freelance gigs worked out, though the pay rate is still being negotiated.  One, I'm working on a few small websites for people I know.  If I like it, and am decent at it, I'll hang a shingle later.  Two, I'm part of an online course to teach Catholics about using technology in their ministry.  LOTS of work, and LOTS of fun, too.  Especially rediscovering all the ideas I never had time for when I was a full time church employee!  Three, I'll be part of a blogging team on a publisher's site.  There's a lot to be worked out for this last one, but I'm pretty excited nonetheless.


5)  Leaving Florida means leaving our church home behind- and this guy (photo taken by Kaden):

He's been our pastor the past 6 years, and our boss, and baptized Kaden, and just generally been a nifty guy.  We're going to miss him.  He's already missing Jim, and will miss Kaden and I - though I doubt he'll miss the 100s of questions I brought to him each week.  For fun.

6) Part of the moving transition involves finding a house in Pennsylvania.  And, really, what's up with the houses in PA?  Here, hardly anything was built before 1960s.  There, almost everything was.  You want an affordable 4 bedroom?  Sure, if you don't mind having ONE bathroom to share.  Oh, wait, you want two bathrooms?  Okay, we'll just double the rent.   And people live in the basement?  Doesn't anyone else find that... odd?  Apartment complexes are looking more and more civilized the longer I look at houses!

7) It's not all craziness... there is a bit of hope in these parts, too. Here's a shot of a sunflower bud.  Kaden and I planted a BUNCH of these in our garden for the summer.  Only about 5 survived the seedling phase, since Kman was still "farming" and "planting" by pulling them out...

But the ones that made it! Oh, what fun to see them so tall and bright in the backyard!

And that's a wrap.  For my 6 readers out there, tell me if you want any specific topic before the lights go out :)

Still here... for now!

I can hardly believe it's been over 2 months since my last post.  Obviously, the preparation for the impending move has sucked all my energy!   Actually, as I'm contemplating moving into more freelance or contract work... and as the Boy is more Boy than Babe this days... I'm thinking of doing a few posts until his 4th bday, and then wrapping up this blog.  There's pros and cons, of course, but the main point is that I started this to keep far flung friends and family in the loop.

SO... if you want the blog to continue, email me at kn (under_score) jenkins (at) hotmail (dot) com.  Or, possibly even take the poll over on the side there.  Let me know if you want this to continue, and what you most like to read/see.  Thanks.

the Luck of the... Pennsylvania Dutch?

We're not Irish in any way, but we do love a good party.  Especially something connected (however loosely) to a saint.  But though lil' leprachaun has discovered he LOVES the lucky charms cereal, it's JimDad with all the luck lately... he's landed a new job!  in accounting!  in Pennsylvania!

Yup, we're moving back north, friends.  If you live in the Keystone state, maybe you can explain the pre-school system to me...

That's not flying, that's FALLING... with Skype*

*or with STYLE, depending on your ability to enunciate whilst your excited...

The Mangrove Forest

We have really interesting signs in Florida.  I was once at a resort where the parking ticket said something like "the resort is not liable for vehicle damage from falling coconuts."  Another time I told my brother in law we didn't worry about sharks at the beach, and he pointed over my shoulder to a sign that said "Warning! Sharks!".  Still, this one below has to be one of my all time favorites:

A good friend visited this past week- hurray!  We had a wonderful time (at least, we did!). She's really a kind of quiet-joy person... not all outwardly enthusiastic, but an authentic and realistic positive outlook.  She's also from the mid-atlantic area, so it's like seeing Florida with fresh eyes when she visits.  I tend to appreciate- even more- this very unique place we live.

It has interesting sights, no?  The photo above is a mangrove seed forming.  If you've ever been to the beach and wondered what those brown cigar like sticks were... well, now you know: mangrove seeds.  Interesting on the beach, in the water, or developing on the tree.

It's beautiful here in the mangrove forests.   I'm not sure I've heard that term used often, if at all, but I like it.  It was one of those odd days- cool in the shade, but really warm if you were in the sun or walking around.  

We stumbled across some scat, shown here above (at least we didn't stumble INTO it).  Anyone know what it is?  We had no idea- thinking maybe a bird, but it's pretty well formed.  With berries!  I was thinking deer, but it was up on a boardwalk.  Another local friend thought pig.  Anyone?  (Note, if you don't recognize it, I wouldn't recommend googling images of various animal scat to compare.  Ahem.)

It was a lovely visit, all in all.  We were only at the mangrove forest for about an hour or so.  We did hit the beach, of course.  That was a little chilly too, so we watched the moon rise and headed home.  Nothing better than friends and fun, nature and good health :)

Vacation, part 2 and Post Vacation Blues

That almost Disney, almost free trip worked so well a few weeks ago that we thought we'd try it again! It didn't work nearly the same, though.  Not worse, just... different.

 

First of all, our hotel was near SeaWorld, not Downtown Disney.  Tough times, I know.  However, the grounds were BEAUTIFUL.  I'm not usually blown away by landscaping and atmosphere and such, but wow.  We stumbled across an outdoor chess set- conveniently located near a playground, so everyone was happy!

I found Virgil's Cream Soda in the same hotel deli that sold Starbucks bottled frap for $4.  Nah, we didn't get either.  I did, however, immediately think of the cute pup my brother once had, and so snapped this pic to send to him.  But I entered the wrong number, so someone else must've been puzzling over the odd txt msg!

 Kaden took to the pool like a toddler to water.  In fact, this time around there was less adventuring and more swimming, running and - wait for it- cable TV.  Perhaps we still needed down time?

I know I did, because this time it was my turn to work- and the conference blew my mind away. The first part was ministry and technology, the second part was educational tech.  Holy gigabytes, Batman!  There was rock music and giveaways (computers! yes, plural!) and inspiring speeches and more iPads than I've ever seen in one place! 

 It was nice to come "home" afterwards and walk the beautiful grounds at night with the family.  We'd pass fire pits, and little fake streams and ponds, and Kaden would run his energy out while I tried to summarize things with Jim.

And now, this week, we are back to work and the laundry and all those other things that make everyday life run.  I really want to figure out how to make sense of and use all the info and inspiration from the conference (which deserves its own post), but I've inherited extra hours at work to deal with "tech stuff."  Which I proposed, thinking more along the lines of electronic communication and social media.  But our website was hacked and went down, and now I'm in the midst of learning how to design a temp one.  Yes, learning how.   I haven't felt this dumb since I tried to help a relative with Medicare.

But, then again, working a bit late means a fantastic commute home.  There's not a lot of traffic on the bridge, and I get to see some gorgeous sunsets.  These pics are from the last two days.  So perhaps I shan't compain too much...