Yeah, I know. Either you're on there already, and maybe read this blog a few weeks late because FB and its instant status updates are how you *really* keep in touch.... or you've heard of this FB thing and might log on someday soon (and you're probably related to me). If it's the latter, it's safe to say that you are not a "digital native", which means that you grew up with the internet and google and FB as part of the growing up package. I am not a native (only one of the ways I show my soon to be middle aged self), because the internet came out when I was in college. I text, but not tweet. I blog and Facebook, but can't write HTML or create JAVA and webpages and the like. Here's the thing: I like my internet to have some usefulness.
Which means that I'll surf to learn stuff, but when we start talking about social networking, I think... why? At first it was fun, finding out what folks were up to or hearing the daily updates of my neighbor. I didn't need the news or the weather reports, because my friends' status updates would tell me what I needed to know. But the "friend list" grew, and grew, and grew. And people I see in real life were getting offended that I hadn't seen their vacation photos: "I put them on Facebook, didn't you click thru?" Um, no, because I missed that day. And everytime I log in, I see so many other interesting things that I forget about your photos until I see you again, and... well, then, isn't this awkward. Again.
See, here's the odd thing about facebook or twitter or social networking (odd for me, at least). It's like each of my friends has a personal TV cable channel. And when I log in, I see the "guide" that rotates the most recent or most "popular" (as defined by FB) updates and notes. But what if I never log on about the time you, my favorite friend, are posting? How do you control (like DVR) your favorite feeds?
These are rhetorical questions. Because even if you can give me an answer now, it'll be different in a month or two. So we have this layer of having to continually adapt and learn a new system to access similar information. And then add to THAT all the market research/info sharing/access permitted by companies. It makes no difference if my own profile is on lockdown and I never use gaming apps because for every friend who does so, THEY are sharing MY info.
So, what's a hermit wannabe like me to do? I considered jumping ship entirely, and scuttling the account. Every time I get close, something GOOD comes out of FB, like a new friend saying hi or a volunteer contacting me to donate something, or a nephew posting photos. Connections. Someone said to me the other day that our whole life is about trying to restore the connection we had in the womb. I'm not sure if I'd state it quite like that, but yeah, connections.
How do we maintain our connections, nurture our relationships in today's virtual society? How do you use online tools to create your friendship world? Are you seeking to reinforce existing, everyday relationships? Connect with long distance family and friends? Broaden your circle to people you haven't met and likely won't spend much time with geographically? It's all quite interesting...
4 comments:
Wow that was deep and very interesting all at the same time, you are amazing. I am pondering the questions and I should have a response within two days, make sure that you log onto facebook at the same time I post them or you might miss them!!
In a lot of ways I like Facebook as a way of maintaining connections with people I'm interested in or have a previous tie to, but maybe aren't people I would necessarily have the time to regularly email or talk to in person. Does that make any sense?
But I realize I could totally live without Facebook - there are some things about it I would miss, but it wouldn't change my life.
I don't tweet either!
Is this all because of that tempest in a teapot over there in FB land? ;) I really get what you are saying. I find FB fun, but it can also be a serious distraction to my vocation as a mom who is supposed to be spending all her time with the kiddies at home. I just can't take that kind of stuff too seriously, but it's easy to see how if affects your attitude (why doesn't so and so LIKE me?!?!) And let's be honest, do any of really need to know most of the status updates on FB? No. If something is really important, there are seven million other ways to get in touch with people these days. Sometimes I just want to say "FB isn't REAL life!"
I like FB to keep in touch with people that I don't regularly see/talk with. It's a nice way to stay involved with those who aren't close. I don't expect people to hang on my every update. I am easily sucked in to FB and blogs but I try to keep them under control & in perspective. It's a nice connection but it isn't always the best connection. It's funny that social networking is supposed to bring us all closer together but when it replaces what is going on under your own roof or you choose FB over time with family, it's time to re-evaluate. Earlier I put on my status- Facebook isn't real life, it's just Facebook.
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